I struggle with the idea of “home.” This is an idea I have wrestled with and pondered before I applied to JVC and while I was a student at Spring Hill. What is home? People here in Chile have asked me if I plan to return home once I complete my two years of volunteer work. I respond by saying I still have a year to figure out the future, but I also say I do not have a home. Not to sound mean or callous, or to have people think I am homeless, but technically I do not have a home (in the States).
Truth be told the home I once knew as a child no longer exists. The home once belonging to me is still the home of my parents and my younger sister, but it is not mine. During winter and summer breaks as a student I would return “home,” but with each visit, I felt more like a stranger. Things would be different and why would they not be different? I cannot expect time to stop and things to remain the same when I am away. What used to be my room became a guest room. What used to be my dresser became my sister’s and my father completely renovated the yard and planted his garden.
So, what is home? Those who know me know I love music (There is a point to this digression so bear with my train of thought and writing process). Music lets me know I am not alone in my feelings and lets me know whatever I am going through (be it good or bad), someone else has experienced it. There are a number of songs I have identified with since being in Santiago. Two songs touching on the question of home for me are The National’s “Bloodbuzz Ohio” and Death Cab for Cutie’s “You Are a Tourist.”
“Bloodbuzz Ohio” deals with the singer’s experience of returning “home” after a period of time. There is a line he sings, “I was carried to Ohio in swarm of bees, I never married, but Ohio don't remember me.” So much changed since he left Ohio. It was neither the same place he knew nor was he the same person. Both my parents’ home and Chicago are not the places I knew as a child and as I grow as an adult and gain more experience and knowledge, the more foreign each concept becomes. In “You Are A Tourist” there is a verse in the song that goes:
“And if you feel just like a tourist in the city
where you were born then it's time to go
and if you find your destination
there’s so many different places to call home ...”
The explanation is as followed. As I am beginning to discern the next chapter of my life, the answer to this ever-existential question I discovered is home is wherever I am presently and with the people I am with. Home has been so many different places. Home has been the house of my parents. Home has been Chicago. Home has been Spring Hill College. Home has been Nicaragua, Italy, the Dominican Republic, El Salvador, and now Chile. Home is now the JV house I share with my community.
Home is now the place where I share old memories and create new ones. The idea of home will change again when I finish my time here. This home will no longer be mine, but it will still remain the JV house and the home of Emily and Carlos and will become the home of future volunteers who continue to come to serve the Chilean people. I currently may not have a home waiting for me in the States, but home will be wherever I decide to begin my next chapter.
Friday, January 27, 2012
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
And With True Love and Brotherhood Each Other Now Embrace
I am seriously the worst person in the world when it comes to updating my blog. I think it has been about 4 months since I last posted and so much has happened in between August and now. These are the things that have indirectly affected me (but, has gone on and made the news since I have been in Chile): The Occupy Wallstreet Movement moving from New York to across the country (especially on college campuses), the deaths of Steve Jobs, Qaddafi, Andy Rooney, Christopher Hitchens, Kim Jong Il, and former Czechoslovakian president Václav Havel. Since August, I have gone on a retreat with a group of seventh graders from my school, I made a new friend who is from the States (whom many people thought was going to be a love interest, but no. He is just a friend; nothing more, nothing less), went on a 27 kilometer pilgrimage with my school and about seventy-five thousand other Chileans in the Andes, celebrated my twenty-fourth birthday, went up to Peru for Re-O/Dis-O with my community and it was AMAZING to reunite with old friends and make new ones, had a bomb scare across the street from my community’s house, going on my first city bike-ride and transitioning from being a first-year volunteer to a second-year volunteer. Also, receiving the new volunteers on the eighth of this month (which has already happened).
So much has happened, not only in the past four months, but also so much has happened and changed this past year. I am no longer the woman I was when I arrived in Chile last December. I am not as naive, not as independent, and I have sacrificed many things. I have cried many tears, I have been frustrated when things have not gone my way, I have been scared of the unknown and of the future. Things have occurred that I did not expect. I had been in Chile for less than a month when my grandmother passed away and I did not go back for the funeral, my community still did not have a house to call our own, and it was unbearably hot. A reminder for those and for those who do not know: I hate everything about the heat. I hate sweating, I hate feeling uncomfortable, I cannot sleep, I cannot eat, and I can become snappy and short with people. I was definitely not my best person in January or in February, but community accepted me how I was (thank you Catherine and Jake). As time went on, things got a little easier: I got into a routine at work and with my social-service site, made new friends, and I felt like the two years would not be so bad. Then the winter came.
When people tell you it gets cold in Chile, you question what their idea of “cold” is. I grew in the Midwest and let me tell you, Chicago winters are brutal: sub-zero temperatures, 20-40mph wind, and pipes freezing. If I could survive a Chicago winter, I knew I could survive a Chilean winter. What people forget to leave out here is it tends to be colder inside buildings and houses than it is outside. I remember wearing my coat, hat, scarf, and gloves while working, and using my sleeping bag (this is addition to using my comforter, wool blanket, and sheets) when I would go to bed. The houses and buildings here have no insulation whatsoever. Also, I do not know if it has anything to do with how close we are to the South Pole, but it would get dark here early and would still be dark when I would leave for work in the morning. For example, I would head out of work around 5:30pm and it would be dark and when I would leave my house in the mornings and get to work around 8:00am, it still would be dark. Setting aside my misery for a moment, something else is brewing the winter here: discontentment. People, but more specifically, the Chilean youth had become disillusioned with the Chilean education system. There were massive weekly protests and students taking over their schools (I am not going to go into great detail because I have already written about this) and this was something I had never witnessed in the States.
Moving past the winter and onto Spring. I had gotten into a slump at work. I was growing bored and becoming frustrated. The students were apathetic and my relationships with some of co-workers deteriorated. I also was not too happy with community. I became somewhat homesick and longed for the life I had before JVC. I longed for something that was comfortable, safe, and something that I knew and that knew me. I remember crying on the phone when calling home. I remember telling my parents and friends how I was told I needed to change and to start taking more of an “initiative” (whatever that meant). I was told to start kissing ass (not in those words, but still the same sentiment) and make small talk with people. Those who are closest to me know I hate small talk and I have zero tolerance for superficiality. If keeping it real means not talking very much then so be it. How do I change who I am while still staying true to me? I remember feeling like the odd-man out when it came to community activity. The irony is that I participated in many community activities to not feel excluded. If the winter was not fun, the beginning of spring was not any better. I became more anxious and stressed. I gained somewhere between 10-20 pounds (I am not exaggerating here), my skin was horrible and I became overwhelmed when people would ask what I was doing for my birthday. I needed a break from everything. I needed a break from Chile, I needed a break from community, I needed a break from JV life ... or so I thought.
At the end of October, our community went up to Tacna, Peru for Re-O/Dis-O (Re-Orientation/Dis-Orientation) and it was great to see familiar faces. It was great to be on retreat with people who were going through similar struggles. It was great to be silly and laugh uncontrollably. It was great to be myself and not feel guilty about it. After the retreat in Peru, I returned to Chile energized and ready to take on Year 2. I was ready to make necessary changes in my life in order to be a person in my community and in my school. I was ready to re-commit to myself to JVC’s values and and to this experience. I began to eat better and to be more vocal about how I was feeling. I was ready to see more of what Santiago had offer when I had free time and I was ready to hang out with new and old friends. I was ready to become a second-year volunteer and ready to make myself 100% available to the new volunteers.
Now, the new volunteers are here and I am getting ready to wrap up the school year. The year has gone by quickly and before I know it, it will be time for me to return to the States. I have to start thinking about what I am going to be doing when I get back. Future plans. Something I have put hold on since accepting JVC. I am thinking more and more about law school, but I do not know if I want to practice law. I would like to have a JD, but I am also thinking about working for an NGO or evening working as a Foreign Service Officer. I have a year still to figure all of that out. Right now, I need to be present in the present. I need to be here for my students who have loved me from Day One and present to my ever-expanding community. I am excited for the future. I am excited, scared, and nervous for the unknown. There are so many emotions going on inside of me right now, but as long as I trust in the process and in God, I will be okay. I know I have not written anything in here about Christmas, but Merry Christmas or Happy Hanukkah (however you want to take it). I am grateful for this year and I am grateful for the year that is to come. I am grateful for both the good and the bad. I am grateful for community and for God's Grace. I am hopeful and optimistic. I am awaiting the Good News and I am reviving my hope in all good things. Although there is much darkness and sorrow in world, we must not forgot the good. There is always good. Hopefully, I will be updating this after the Holidays, but I am not making any promises. I do what I can. Peace, Love, and LIVE THE FOURTH!
So much has happened, not only in the past four months, but also so much has happened and changed this past year. I am no longer the woman I was when I arrived in Chile last December. I am not as naive, not as independent, and I have sacrificed many things. I have cried many tears, I have been frustrated when things have not gone my way, I have been scared of the unknown and of the future. Things have occurred that I did not expect. I had been in Chile for less than a month when my grandmother passed away and I did not go back for the funeral, my community still did not have a house to call our own, and it was unbearably hot. A reminder for those and for those who do not know: I hate everything about the heat. I hate sweating, I hate feeling uncomfortable, I cannot sleep, I cannot eat, and I can become snappy and short with people. I was definitely not my best person in January or in February, but community accepted me how I was (thank you Catherine and Jake). As time went on, things got a little easier: I got into a routine at work and with my social-service site, made new friends, and I felt like the two years would not be so bad. Then the winter came.
When people tell you it gets cold in Chile, you question what their idea of “cold” is. I grew in the Midwest and let me tell you, Chicago winters are brutal: sub-zero temperatures, 20-40mph wind, and pipes freezing. If I could survive a Chicago winter, I knew I could survive a Chilean winter. What people forget to leave out here is it tends to be colder inside buildings and houses than it is outside. I remember wearing my coat, hat, scarf, and gloves while working, and using my sleeping bag (this is addition to using my comforter, wool blanket, and sheets) when I would go to bed. The houses and buildings here have no insulation whatsoever. Also, I do not know if it has anything to do with how close we are to the South Pole, but it would get dark here early and would still be dark when I would leave for work in the morning. For example, I would head out of work around 5:30pm and it would be dark and when I would leave my house in the mornings and get to work around 8:00am, it still would be dark. Setting aside my misery for a moment, something else is brewing the winter here: discontentment. People, but more specifically, the Chilean youth had become disillusioned with the Chilean education system. There were massive weekly protests and students taking over their schools (I am not going to go into great detail because I have already written about this) and this was something I had never witnessed in the States.
Moving past the winter and onto Spring. I had gotten into a slump at work. I was growing bored and becoming frustrated. The students were apathetic and my relationships with some of co-workers deteriorated. I also was not too happy with community. I became somewhat homesick and longed for the life I had before JVC. I longed for something that was comfortable, safe, and something that I knew and that knew me. I remember crying on the phone when calling home. I remember telling my parents and friends how I was told I needed to change and to start taking more of an “initiative” (whatever that meant). I was told to start kissing ass (not in those words, but still the same sentiment) and make small talk with people. Those who are closest to me know I hate small talk and I have zero tolerance for superficiality. If keeping it real means not talking very much then so be it. How do I change who I am while still staying true to me? I remember feeling like the odd-man out when it came to community activity. The irony is that I participated in many community activities to not feel excluded. If the winter was not fun, the beginning of spring was not any better. I became more anxious and stressed. I gained somewhere between 10-20 pounds (I am not exaggerating here), my skin was horrible and I became overwhelmed when people would ask what I was doing for my birthday. I needed a break from everything. I needed a break from Chile, I needed a break from community, I needed a break from JV life ... or so I thought.
At the end of October, our community went up to Tacna, Peru for Re-O/Dis-O (Re-Orientation/Dis-Orientation) and it was great to see familiar faces. It was great to be on retreat with people who were going through similar struggles. It was great to be silly and laugh uncontrollably. It was great to be myself and not feel guilty about it. After the retreat in Peru, I returned to Chile energized and ready to take on Year 2. I was ready to make necessary changes in my life in order to be a person in my community and in my school. I was ready to re-commit to myself to JVC’s values and and to this experience. I began to eat better and to be more vocal about how I was feeling. I was ready to see more of what Santiago had offer when I had free time and I was ready to hang out with new and old friends. I was ready to become a second-year volunteer and ready to make myself 100% available to the new volunteers.
Now, the new volunteers are here and I am getting ready to wrap up the school year. The year has gone by quickly and before I know it, it will be time for me to return to the States. I have to start thinking about what I am going to be doing when I get back. Future plans. Something I have put hold on since accepting JVC. I am thinking more and more about law school, but I do not know if I want to practice law. I would like to have a JD, but I am also thinking about working for an NGO or evening working as a Foreign Service Officer. I have a year still to figure all of that out. Right now, I need to be present in the present. I need to be here for my students who have loved me from Day One and present to my ever-expanding community. I am excited for the future. I am excited, scared, and nervous for the unknown. There are so many emotions going on inside of me right now, but as long as I trust in the process and in God, I will be okay. I know I have not written anything in here about Christmas, but Merry Christmas or Happy Hanukkah (however you want to take it). I am grateful for this year and I am grateful for the year that is to come. I am grateful for both the good and the bad. I am grateful for community and for God's Grace. I am hopeful and optimistic. I am awaiting the Good News and I am reviving my hope in all good things. Although there is much darkness and sorrow in world, we must not forgot the good. There is always good. Hopefully, I will be updating this after the Holidays, but I am not making any promises. I do what I can. Peace, Love, and LIVE THE FOURTH!
And Joseph too went up from Galilee from the town of Nazareth to Judea, to the city of David that is called Bethlehem, because he was of the house and family of David,to be enrolled with Mary, his betrothed, who was with child. While they were there, the time came for her to have her child, and she gave birth to her firstborn son.* She wrapped him in swaddling clothes and laid him in a manger, because there was no room for them in the inn. Now there were shepherds in that region living in the fields and keeping the night watch over their flock.The angel of the Lord appeared to them and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were struck with great fear.The angel said to them, “Do not be afraid; for behold, I proclaim to you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. For today in the city of David a savior has been born for you who is Messiah and Lord and this will be a sign for you: you will find an infant wrapped in swaddling clothes and lying in a manger.”And suddenly there was a multitude of the heavenly host with the angel, praising God and saying:“Glory to God in the highest and on earth peace to those on whom his favor rests.” - Luke 2:4-14
Thursday, August 25, 2011
Everybody Wants to Rule the World
*This blog post was actually written between the 17th and 19th of August*
It is a brand new day! Today it is cold and raining. I am in the center and the probability of there being another student protest is 100%. The reason why I am so happy (even though there will be a protest and I will be in the epicenter of it) is because I am currently at the Ex-Congreso Nacional watching my students debate for the second day straight. The time has finally come. They are participants in the MOEA (Model Organization of American States) and they are representing the great nation of Jamaica. My kids have been working diligently and although sometimes I may have lost my patience with them during this process, they are doing an amazing job. They are debating issues Jamaica is facing today. They are arguing for education reform, reducing poverty, and fighting against injustices Jamaicans are faced with every day. They have been drafting resolutions and speeches non-stop. They are collecting signatures from other states, and at lastly (but not the least) they are speaking like diplomats! Even only the teachers and directors at my school could see them debate. Also, my kids are dressed to the Nines. They have to come to the debates dressed like the diplomats. The boys are wearing suits and ties and the girls have been wearing suits and heels as well. They look totally different from they look during the school day. Even I, myself, am required to come dressed formally. My feet are killing me (which means I am finally putting my heels to goos use). I learned from yesterday not to arrive to work wearing my heels. I should have known better, but I did not know if wearing gym shoes to an event would have been a faux-paux (especially when entering a government building).
Although I am excited for my students, I feel out of place. Yesterday, the MOEA moderators (students from the Universidad de Chile) confused me with some the high school students and most of the professors from the other schools here are old enough to be my parents. I spoke to one woman yesterday, but other than that, I have not done much speaking. I need to find my niche. I wonder if I am putting out the same stand-offish vibe I supposedly sent out back on the Hill. When I had to attend an orientation for the program, there was only one other professor who spoke with me (I know he meant well, but he kind of was a creeper), but unfortunately his school is no longer participating in the simulation. Everyone assumed they were going to participate, but was surprised to see they did not arrived. We have a feeling they dropped out because their school is still in toma. Unfortunately for the schools who happen to be in toma during this time are at risk of losing their academic year. What this means is they will have to repeat the year . Juniors will remain juniors (this is an example) for another year and also they will be in school all year long (meaning no winter or summer vacations). Some people even say they will have to extend the school week from five to six days and may be even a longer school day as well. Never did I think I would say I miss my creepy friend. Sure, he reminded me of two people I would not want to see again or run into when I have had a drink or two and sure he talked about things I pretended to only have interest in because I didn’t have the heart to tell him I could care less (the Chileans are sensitive about those kinds of things), but he was polite.
Yesterday, another professor had the nerve to get mad at me because I would not let her borrow my pen. I gave her the piece of paper I had in my hand (I want to write one of my kids a note). Wasn’t that enough? I think it was the way she asked me for the pen and the piece of paper which did rub me the wrong way. She did not ask “May I please have your piece of paper?” She instead commanded “Give me your piece of paper that you have in your hand.” When she saw the pen in my hand, she then said “Let me use your pen.” I told her “Sorry but I am about use it so I write my kid a note.” She scoffed and said , “Are you serious?” I responded, “Yes. I am sorry, but I really need to use MY pen to write my kid a note.” Offended, she replied, “Ugh. Thanks alot” and then proceeded to take a pen from her bag and walked away. I mean, seriously, she couldn’t just do that in the beginning to avoid the whole confrontation. Just because someone asks if they can borrow something does not mean the response is automatically yes. Sometimes it is No. I have avoided having to be in the same room with her. She can give me all the dirty looks she wants, but those looks do not make me feel guilty about not lending her my pen. When you assume, you only make an ass out of “you” and “yourself.” I know the cliche saying does not go along those lines, same difference. That is my philosophy and I am sticking to it. About fifteen minutes, my kids are going to have a coffee break and I am going to ask them how they feel the debates within the respective commissions are going. I am so proud of them. They are learning about the complexities of the world they are surrounded by and are inevitably a member/product of.
Continuing this post at 1:08pm (EST), the General Commission just voted on Costa Rica, Mexico, Honduras, Paraguay, and Jamaica’s Resolution. I am so proud of my kids! They had it approve with hardly opposition and I know they worked so hard on their resolution. A couple of the kids barely slept because they wanted to make sure the resolution is perfect. Right now, the kids are voting for the President and Vice President for next year’s commission. I wonder if any of my kids nominated themselves for the presidency of the commission? I will find out right now. Side-note ... nothing having to do with the presidency, but with the other professors. A few of the women professors can be just as catty and gossipy as some of the high schoolers they teach. I guess I include myself in this group because I am making remarks about them here on my post instead of to their faces, but whatevs. I, at least, acknowledge what I am doing and I don’t walk around making myself seem better than everyone else. I know this mean. I apologize, but no one intimidates me while I wear my heels, I am a tower. I am approximately 5’9” with my shoes on. I am a GIANT! Then again, Chileans are not very tall and I am already taller than many Chileans I know (I am only 5’6”).
4:03pm I do not know how people can walk in heels all day and not complain! I am in so much pain. Never again will I try to break in new shoes in the center of Santiago during the winter and while it is raining. Even when I am sitting my feet in pain. It is indescribable. Tomorrow will be the last day of this torture. Even if I decide to wear my flats tomorrow, it will be intolerable. I wonder if I can get away with wearing my TOMS. Hopefully, it will not be raining tomorrow. Hopefully, I will be able to go home early since this is supposed to be wrapping up around 1:30-2:00pm at the latest.
It is a brand new day! Today it is cold and raining. I am in the center and the probability of there being another student protest is 100%. The reason why I am so happy (even though there will be a protest and I will be in the epicenter of it) is because I am currently at the Ex-Congreso Nacional watching my students debate for the second day straight. The time has finally come. They are participants in the MOEA (Model Organization of American States) and they are representing the great nation of Jamaica. My kids have been working diligently and although sometimes I may have lost my patience with them during this process, they are doing an amazing job. They are debating issues Jamaica is facing today. They are arguing for education reform, reducing poverty, and fighting against injustices Jamaicans are faced with every day. They have been drafting resolutions and speeches non-stop. They are collecting signatures from other states, and at lastly (but not the least) they are speaking like diplomats! Even only the teachers and directors at my school could see them debate. Also, my kids are dressed to the Nines. They have to come to the debates dressed like the diplomats. The boys are wearing suits and ties and the girls have been wearing suits and heels as well. They look totally different from they look during the school day. Even I, myself, am required to come dressed formally. My feet are killing me (which means I am finally putting my heels to goos use). I learned from yesterday not to arrive to work wearing my heels. I should have known better, but I did not know if wearing gym shoes to an event would have been a faux-paux (especially when entering a government building).
Although I am excited for my students, I feel out of place. Yesterday, the MOEA moderators (students from the Universidad de Chile) confused me with some the high school students and most of the professors from the other schools here are old enough to be my parents. I spoke to one woman yesterday, but other than that, I have not done much speaking. I need to find my niche. I wonder if I am putting out the same stand-offish vibe I supposedly sent out back on the Hill. When I had to attend an orientation for the program, there was only one other professor who spoke with me (I know he meant well, but he kind of was a creeper), but unfortunately his school is no longer participating in the simulation. Everyone assumed they were going to participate, but was surprised to see they did not arrived. We have a feeling they dropped out because their school is still in toma. Unfortunately for the schools who happen to be in toma during this time are at risk of losing their academic year. What this means is they will have to repeat the year . Juniors will remain juniors (this is an example) for another year and also they will be in school all year long (meaning no winter or summer vacations). Some people even say they will have to extend the school week from five to six days and may be even a longer school day as well. Never did I think I would say I miss my creepy friend. Sure, he reminded me of two people I would not want to see again or run into when I have had a drink or two and sure he talked about things I pretended to only have interest in because I didn’t have the heart to tell him I could care less (the Chileans are sensitive about those kinds of things), but he was polite.
Yesterday, another professor had the nerve to get mad at me because I would not let her borrow my pen. I gave her the piece of paper I had in my hand (I want to write one of my kids a note). Wasn’t that enough? I think it was the way she asked me for the pen and the piece of paper which did rub me the wrong way. She did not ask “May I please have your piece of paper?” She instead commanded “Give me your piece of paper that you have in your hand.” When she saw the pen in my hand, she then said “Let me use your pen.” I told her “Sorry but I am about use it so I write my kid a note.” She scoffed and said , “Are you serious?” I responded, “Yes. I am sorry, but I really need to use MY pen to write my kid a note.” Offended, she replied, “Ugh. Thanks alot” and then proceeded to take a pen from her bag and walked away. I mean, seriously, she couldn’t just do that in the beginning to avoid the whole confrontation. Just because someone asks if they can borrow something does not mean the response is automatically yes. Sometimes it is No. I have avoided having to be in the same room with her. She can give me all the dirty looks she wants, but those looks do not make me feel guilty about not lending her my pen. When you assume, you only make an ass out of “you” and “yourself.” I know the cliche saying does not go along those lines, same difference. That is my philosophy and I am sticking to it. About fifteen minutes, my kids are going to have a coffee break and I am going to ask them how they feel the debates within the respective commissions are going. I am so proud of them. They are learning about the complexities of the world they are surrounded by and are inevitably a member/product of.
Continuing this post at 1:08pm (EST), the General Commission just voted on Costa Rica, Mexico, Honduras, Paraguay, and Jamaica’s Resolution. I am so proud of my kids! They had it approve with hardly opposition and I know they worked so hard on their resolution. A couple of the kids barely slept because they wanted to make sure the resolution is perfect. Right now, the kids are voting for the President and Vice President for next year’s commission. I wonder if any of my kids nominated themselves for the presidency of the commission? I will find out right now. Side-note ... nothing having to do with the presidency, but with the other professors. A few of the women professors can be just as catty and gossipy as some of the high schoolers they teach. I guess I include myself in this group because I am making remarks about them here on my post instead of to their faces, but whatevs. I, at least, acknowledge what I am doing and I don’t walk around making myself seem better than everyone else. I know this mean. I apologize, but no one intimidates me while I wear my heels, I am a tower. I am approximately 5’9” with my shoes on. I am a GIANT! Then again, Chileans are not very tall and I am already taller than many Chileans I know (I am only 5’6”).
4:03pm I do not know how people can walk in heels all day and not complain! I am in so much pain. Never again will I try to break in new shoes in the center of Santiago during the winter and while it is raining. Even when I am sitting my feet in pain. It is indescribable. Tomorrow will be the last day of this torture. Even if I decide to wear my flats tomorrow, it will be intolerable. I wonder if I can get away with wearing my TOMS. Hopefully, it will not be raining tomorrow. Hopefully, I will be able to go home early since this is supposed to be wrapping up around 1:30-2:00pm at the latest.
Monday, August 15, 2011
It's a Cold and It's a Broken Hallelujah
On top of me not proof-readin my blog posts, I do a poor job of not updating my blog on a regular basis. It's been a little more than a month since my last post and things continue to happen. Well, life goes on whether or not I update my blog, but since I do not keep journals or jot down notes, I would like to look back on something when I return to the States and I am feeling nostalgic. I have since returned to work and the students are still going strong. I feel sometimes the protests have become more aggressive. When I say that, I do not mean the students themselves, but there are people who like to infiltrate the peaceful movements and (excuse my language here) fuck shit up. There may be one or two students who act stupidly as well, but the majority of people who destroy city property and throw molotov cocktails are hooligans. They are people who do not want change, but just need a reason who cause havoc. I have heard of stories where these people loot stores and when they are done with that, they will set things ablaze. This is not the work of the student demonstrators.
The students who protest are doing so for a purpose. They want better schools. They want more money to be pumped into the education system. Socialism is not that bad, people. The people in American government who think socialism is bad, who think it is just another name for communism, do not understand the true definition of socialism. I am not a fan of "Super Congress" or government telling me who I can or cannot marry, but I am also not a fan of government privatizing and selling everything nor am I a fan of welfare or Affirmative Action (I may be center-left, but there are things I do not agree with the Left). There has to be a balance somewhere in the middle.
The Piñera Administration refuses to put any more money into education because they feel it is not their responsibility to do so. They also refuse to put money into other social programs as well: Firefighters, Police, Streets and Sanitation. What would American conservatives like Michelle Bachmann, Rick Santorum, and Rick Perry say in this instance? This is not their responsibility? As much as they may think Socialism is wrong, this is an aspect of Socialism. American conservatives (not all, but a number of them) turn to Chile saying Free-Market Capitalism works. Privatize everything. They only see what they want to see (Hear No Evil, See No Evil). The American Public Education System is not that much better than the Chilean Education System, but to call the Chilean education system "terrible" is an understatement. There are so many kids not getting the attention they need and they are slipping through the cracks. There are so few in this country who can afford a private education and it is so difficult for those who cannot afford a private education to receive a decent education. There is a huge gap between rich and poor in this country just like in the United States and it is even more difficult in this country to move up from one socioeconomic class to another. It is difficult to try to better one's situation. I am exhausted of having to deal with the protests on the a weekly basis and I am tired of having to deal with tear gas when I am walking to work or when I am on the train, but hopefully these protests will not be in vain. Hopefully, they will have a great impact. The Arabs have their Spring, but the Chileans have their winter. As the darkness and cold go away, we can only hope and await for light.
The students who protest are doing so for a purpose. They want better schools. They want more money to be pumped into the education system. Socialism is not that bad, people. The people in American government who think socialism is bad, who think it is just another name for communism, do not understand the true definition of socialism. I am not a fan of "Super Congress" or government telling me who I can or cannot marry, but I am also not a fan of government privatizing and selling everything nor am I a fan of welfare or Affirmative Action (I may be center-left, but there are things I do not agree with the Left). There has to be a balance somewhere in the middle.
The Piñera Administration refuses to put any more money into education because they feel it is not their responsibility to do so. They also refuse to put money into other social programs as well: Firefighters, Police, Streets and Sanitation. What would American conservatives like Michelle Bachmann, Rick Santorum, and Rick Perry say in this instance? This is not their responsibility? As much as they may think Socialism is wrong, this is an aspect of Socialism. American conservatives (not all, but a number of them) turn to Chile saying Free-Market Capitalism works. Privatize everything. They only see what they want to see (Hear No Evil, See No Evil). The American Public Education System is not that much better than the Chilean Education System, but to call the Chilean education system "terrible" is an understatement. There are so many kids not getting the attention they need and they are slipping through the cracks. There are so few in this country who can afford a private education and it is so difficult for those who cannot afford a private education to receive a decent education. There is a huge gap between rich and poor in this country just like in the United States and it is even more difficult in this country to move up from one socioeconomic class to another. It is difficult to try to better one's situation. I am exhausted of having to deal with the protests on the a weekly basis and I am tired of having to deal with tear gas when I am walking to work or when I am on the train, but hopefully these protests will not be in vain. Hopefully, they will have a great impact. The Arabs have their Spring, but the Chileans have their winter. As the darkness and cold go away, we can only hope and await for light.
Friday, July 1, 2011
La Educación Chilena no se vende... SE DEFIENDE!!!
I began this blogpost las week, but I could not complete it because I was so upset and frustrated. The situation which I wrote about has not been resolved and hopefully I will find out soon if I will be able to return to my normal work life.
As of 2:00am (EST) this morning, my school has been in toma. It's less of a toma and more of a coup d'état. There has been a handful of students who not only manipulated the administration, but also their own student government, and parents and they took over the school. More than 200 schools across the country (somewhere around 220+) are either in paro or toma. The administration was shocked because they had been in dialogue with the Student Council they were optimistic that they were going to come to a compromise that would have made both sides happy. Unfortunately, whatever work the student government did and wanted for the student body has gone out the window. I woke up this morning hopeful. I got ready for work, walked out the house and walked the 2.1 km I walk every morning to work. I was in a good mood and ready to meet with my kids from 3˚ Medio who will be participating in the MOEA at the Universidad de Chile. When I was about a block away from work, I saw the librarian waiting outside and talking on her cellular phone. She looked preoccupied. I figured I would ask her what was wrong when I would reach the school. By the time I arrived, I did not have to ask. The school was in toma.
We wanted to know who had taken the school and we wanted to know if the student government was involved. They were not. The kids arrived not knowing what the situation was. They were being interrogated by the faculty because the faculty assume they knew who was responsible. They knew about as much as we knew. Everyone was upset and parents of the preschoolers and kids in the elementary grades were furious. They were furious and outraged because they brought their kids assuming they would have a place to go while they go to work. They assumed their kids were going to be getting breakfast and lunch because these were meals they knew their kids were going to be guarantee d. When the parents would not leave, some of the kids who were responsible for the toma came out of the school to talk to the parents. They told the parents they could leave the kids with them. There "were" teachers inside of the school. The faculty, however, stepped in when they heard this. They told the parents there were absolutely no teachers inside of the school and unfortunately they would have to take their children back home. As we continued to look at the school, we began to recognize who were the students. The majority of them were kids from 8˚ Basico and 1˚ Medio. These were the kids who had wanted to take the school last week when the kids from 3˚ Medio did want to take the school. We were disappointed.
If the kids wanted to protest, they did not have to take the school. They could have gone to the center and participated in the demonstration that was taking place at the same time. Now, I am in the center while the protest is taking place. I took the metro to an internet cafe (where I am currently typing this) and I am away from the action. There are thousands of people in the street: students, professors, etc. wanted their voice and sentiments to be heard and felt. They want to let the government know they are not happy with the Chilean education system. They want to let Education Minister Lavin know education should not be private and bought, but should be made public and free. Knowledge is power, but I do not think that paros and tomas are the answer. Halting class and preventing teachers from doing their jobs is not the way to get a message across, especially if the message is they want a better education system.
As of 2:00am (EST) this morning, my school has been in toma. It's less of a toma and more of a coup d'état. There has been a handful of students who not only manipulated the administration, but also their own student government, and parents and they took over the school. More than 200 schools across the country (somewhere around 220+) are either in paro or toma. The administration was shocked because they had been in dialogue with the Student Council they were optimistic that they were going to come to a compromise that would have made both sides happy. Unfortunately, whatever work the student government did and wanted for the student body has gone out the window. I woke up this morning hopeful. I got ready for work, walked out the house and walked the 2.1 km I walk every morning to work. I was in a good mood and ready to meet with my kids from 3˚ Medio who will be participating in the MOEA at the Universidad de Chile. When I was about a block away from work, I saw the librarian waiting outside and talking on her cellular phone. She looked preoccupied. I figured I would ask her what was wrong when I would reach the school. By the time I arrived, I did not have to ask. The school was in toma.
We wanted to know who had taken the school and we wanted to know if the student government was involved. They were not. The kids arrived not knowing what the situation was. They were being interrogated by the faculty because the faculty assume they knew who was responsible. They knew about as much as we knew. Everyone was upset and parents of the preschoolers and kids in the elementary grades were furious. They were furious and outraged because they brought their kids assuming they would have a place to go while they go to work. They assumed their kids were going to be getting breakfast and lunch because these were meals they knew their kids were going to be guarantee d. When the parents would not leave, some of the kids who were responsible for the toma came out of the school to talk to the parents. They told the parents they could leave the kids with them. There "were" teachers inside of the school. The faculty, however, stepped in when they heard this. They told the parents there were absolutely no teachers inside of the school and unfortunately they would have to take their children back home. As we continued to look at the school, we began to recognize who were the students. The majority of them were kids from 8˚ Basico and 1˚ Medio. These were the kids who had wanted to take the school last week when the kids from 3˚ Medio did want to take the school. We were disappointed.
If the kids wanted to protest, they did not have to take the school. They could have gone to the center and participated in the demonstration that was taking place at the same time. Now, I am in the center while the protest is taking place. I took the metro to an internet cafe (where I am currently typing this) and I am away from the action. There are thousands of people in the street: students, professors, etc. wanted their voice and sentiments to be heard and felt. They want to let the government know they are not happy with the Chilean education system. They want to let Education Minister Lavin know education should not be private and bought, but should be made public and free. Knowledge is power, but I do not think that paros and tomas are the answer. Halting class and preventing teachers from doing their jobs is not the way to get a message across, especially if the message is they want a better education system.
Thursday, June 16, 2011
Hey! Teachers! Leave them Kids Alone!
So, if anyone loves enough out there, I would like "The Book of Mormon" Soundtrack. I love it when people do not take religion so seriously. Religion is great, but also Religion should be respected and not forced down other people's throats. It's a little crass (what I just said) but it is true. There is no one right way to God. I respect other people's right to practice or not practice any one particular faith, but also respect what I believe. Onto other news. Currently, if you have not been keeping up with the news here in Chile, let me you an update. There is a volcano in the South that has erupted and has been affecting flights going to Argentina, Uruguay, and Australia. The winds have carried ash to two of the three countries and may be affecting Copa America which is to be held in Mendoza, Argentina in about a month. That is not the only thing that is going on in the country. Let me share with you all some good news before I get to the nitty-gritty.
My school will be participating in an OAS simulation. OAS is the Organization of American States and my school will be presenting the great nation of Jamaica. The simulation is very similar to a model UN and this is the first time something like this is being done outside of the United States. This is the first simulation in all of Latin America. If it works here, chances are it will repeat itself again, but not only here in Chile, but in Peru, Bolivia, Argentina, etc. I am excited for my kids. They are pioneers and I only expect the best from them. They are excellent students and so incredibly intelligent. I hope I don't fail them as a monitor. I have been dong what I can to help them. I have e-mailed people who work for the OAS, e-mailed people who work for the Jamaican government, e-mailed the Jamaican Consulate here in Santiago. I have also translated information from both the State Department and CIA's factbook websites. I want them to be prepared as they possibly can be because they are going up against some competitive schools. They are going up against Instituto Nacional, which is a school that has produced 18 of Chile's presidents and the British School from Punta Arenas, a private school that has been funded by the British government.
The simulation is being facilitated by the Universidad de Chile. An American equivalent would probably be any Ivy League school. The kids are excited, but also nervous. Nervous because they are going up against some of the best school in country and because their school is not well-known. My kids are amazing and they have nothing to worry about. They are going to do great. Now... onto the nitty-gritty.
Currently, there are over 180 schools across the country that are in "Toma." "Toma" literally means "Take over." The schools have been taken over by the students in protest. What are they protesting exactly? That is a good question. The universities are protesting against the following: Privatization of the schools, the construction of the Hydroaysen plant in Patagonia, and the Paso Escolar for public transportation. I agree that something needs to be done about the Education system here in Chile. It makes the US public education look incredible. Classrooms are overcrowded, sanitary conditions are questionable (in some school), bullying and student violence is a major problem, and there is the issue of education resources that are available to the working and lower class. There isn't enough. Money has not been pumped into the schools since the 1960s and many schools that were damaged by last year's earthquake have not been repaired.
My school currently is in "paro." A "paro" means halt. A school goes into a paro before it goes in toma. A paro means classes are suspended and gives time for the faculty and administration to review the students' demands. The administration has until the end of the day to agree to the students' demands. If the administration agrees, then the school is not taken over. If the administration does not agree, then the school is in toma. The administration, faculty, and staff are not allowed in the school and the gates and entrances are barricaded with desks and chairs from classrooms. As an American with a different background and perspective, this is all new to me. This is something that would never happen in the States. It might happen at one or two schools, but it would be an isolated occurrence and there will be intervention by law enforcement and there would be consequences. Things are not so bad within the education system in the States that it would cause the students to revolt... or are they? I understand teachers striking for education reform, but when they strike, it is usually for higher wages. This is an interesting time to be a teacher here in Chile.
In addition to this paro/toma, the number of days the school is in toma, those days the students missed from classes, they will have to make them up during their winter vacation. I was told that five years ago, when the schools were in toma then, the kids missed so much school that they had to attend during their summer break. This is something that would not happen EVER in the US. This is all foreign to me. My only question, a question no one seems to know how to answer, is what happens after the toma? Are the students in trouble? Does life go back to normal. It is an interesting time indeed. I will keep you all posted on how things turn out here. My school has until 5pm today to agree or disagree.
Be it good or bad, a revolution is brewing and I hope this government will hear the cry and pleas of its people.
My school will be participating in an OAS simulation. OAS is the Organization of American States and my school will be presenting the great nation of Jamaica. The simulation is very similar to a model UN and this is the first time something like this is being done outside of the United States. This is the first simulation in all of Latin America. If it works here, chances are it will repeat itself again, but not only here in Chile, but in Peru, Bolivia, Argentina, etc. I am excited for my kids. They are pioneers and I only expect the best from them. They are excellent students and so incredibly intelligent. I hope I don't fail them as a monitor. I have been dong what I can to help them. I have e-mailed people who work for the OAS, e-mailed people who work for the Jamaican government, e-mailed the Jamaican Consulate here in Santiago. I have also translated information from both the State Department and CIA's factbook websites. I want them to be prepared as they possibly can be because they are going up against some competitive schools. They are going up against Instituto Nacional, which is a school that has produced 18 of Chile's presidents and the British School from Punta Arenas, a private school that has been funded by the British government.
The simulation is being facilitated by the Universidad de Chile. An American equivalent would probably be any Ivy League school. The kids are excited, but also nervous. Nervous because they are going up against some of the best school in country and because their school is not well-known. My kids are amazing and they have nothing to worry about. They are going to do great. Now... onto the nitty-gritty.
Currently, there are over 180 schools across the country that are in "Toma." "Toma" literally means "Take over." The schools have been taken over by the students in protest. What are they protesting exactly? That is a good question. The universities are protesting against the following: Privatization of the schools, the construction of the Hydroaysen plant in Patagonia, and the Paso Escolar for public transportation. I agree that something needs to be done about the Education system here in Chile. It makes the US public education look incredible. Classrooms are overcrowded, sanitary conditions are questionable (in some school), bullying and student violence is a major problem, and there is the issue of education resources that are available to the working and lower class. There isn't enough. Money has not been pumped into the schools since the 1960s and many schools that were damaged by last year's earthquake have not been repaired.
My school currently is in "paro." A "paro" means halt. A school goes into a paro before it goes in toma. A paro means classes are suspended and gives time for the faculty and administration to review the students' demands. The administration has until the end of the day to agree to the students' demands. If the administration agrees, then the school is not taken over. If the administration does not agree, then the school is in toma. The administration, faculty, and staff are not allowed in the school and the gates and entrances are barricaded with desks and chairs from classrooms. As an American with a different background and perspective, this is all new to me. This is something that would never happen in the States. It might happen at one or two schools, but it would be an isolated occurrence and there will be intervention by law enforcement and there would be consequences. Things are not so bad within the education system in the States that it would cause the students to revolt... or are they? I understand teachers striking for education reform, but when they strike, it is usually for higher wages. This is an interesting time to be a teacher here in Chile.
In addition to this paro/toma, the number of days the school is in toma, those days the students missed from classes, they will have to make them up during their winter vacation. I was told that five years ago, when the schools were in toma then, the kids missed so much school that they had to attend during their summer break. This is something that would not happen EVER in the US. This is all foreign to me. My only question, a question no one seems to know how to answer, is what happens after the toma? Are the students in trouble? Does life go back to normal. It is an interesting time indeed. I will keep you all posted on how things turn out here. My school has until 5pm today to agree or disagree.
Be it good or bad, a revolution is brewing and I hope this government will hear the cry and pleas of its people.
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Was it Love or Fear of the Cold that led Us through the Night?
I've realized that I should probably proof-read my blogposts and make sure they make sense before I post them... the emphasis here is on "should," but I probably will not. Thank you all for excepting as I am. The weather is finally changing and it is freezing. Well, freezing at least in my office and every other building in Santiago because the Chileans do not believe in insulation. It is weird to know we were transitioning into Winter and it is going to be June. I never thought I would have to wear a scarf, coat, hat, and long-johns at the ending of May. Usually, I am complaining about the heat and humidity in Chicago or how I am fortunate that I have never spent the summer in the Deep South. I am at my school and it is incredibly difficult to concentrate because it is so cold. Fortunately, today is Tuesday which means there is class until l:00pm, but unfortunately it means there are meetings after 2:30pm until 5:30pm.
I would personally thank Meghan Tobin for introducing Mumford & Sons into my life in back in September. "Sigh No More" has become Album of the Month. Not really a light-hearted album, but I think it is the perfect album for the changing seasons. Why is that certain artists like Mumford & Sons seem more appropriate to listen to during a certain season? For example: Bon Iver and Fleet Foxes are ideal for the cold weather. Maybe it is the acoustic guitars and their hauntingly vocals. Who knows, but long story short, I am in love with Mumford & Sons. Thank you once again Meghan Tobin! I send peace and love to you and Heather in Managua.
Work has been good. I am participating more in the classes and taking more of an active teaching role in the English classes. I have found out what my kryptonite is: 4th grade. Those kids are terrible and when I say "terrible" it is an understatement. Give me high schoolers any day of the week, just not middle-school. Maybe this is my penance for being such a hell-raiser and giving some of my teachers a hard time. The most difficult thing for me is not losing my cool. I try to keep my composure, but I find myself yelling and having to stop class because the kids will no settle down. My throat hurts at the end of the day because shouting, yelling, and talking so much. The English classes with the immigrant women on the weekends are swell as well. There is more structure and organization now. I think I kind of know what I am doing with them now. It only took a little over 3 months, but I am finally getting a hold of my service work. Teaching English to the women is different from teaching Kids English. I think it is because the women are choosing to learn the language while the kids are obligated. When there is freedom, people are willing to learn.
Last night, my community had our first session of spiritual direction and it was amazing. It was relaxed and in an informal setting. There was no pressure in having to share and it felt good to talk about some of the obstacles and challenges I have been faced with with a third party. It felt good to share and not feel like I was being judged. It felt good to share and not worry if someone's feelings were going to be hurt by the things I shared. It was good share how the past six months have been going so far (for me, at least). I can't believe I have been here for almost six months. The 8th of June will be six months. Wow! The time is just flying by and it is crazy to think that I am a quarter of the way done with my time here. It is crazy to think too that the new volunteers who are coming December will be attending BIG-O in a little over a month. The time is going by so quickly. Some days go by so quickly that I do not realize how fast they go until the day is over.
I would personally thank Meghan Tobin for introducing Mumford & Sons into my life in back in September. "Sigh No More" has become Album of the Month. Not really a light-hearted album, but I think it is the perfect album for the changing seasons. Why is that certain artists like Mumford & Sons seem more appropriate to listen to during a certain season? For example: Bon Iver and Fleet Foxes are ideal for the cold weather. Maybe it is the acoustic guitars and their hauntingly vocals. Who knows, but long story short, I am in love with Mumford & Sons. Thank you once again Meghan Tobin! I send peace and love to you and Heather in Managua.
Work has been good. I am participating more in the classes and taking more of an active teaching role in the English classes. I have found out what my kryptonite is: 4th grade. Those kids are terrible and when I say "terrible" it is an understatement. Give me high schoolers any day of the week, just not middle-school. Maybe this is my penance for being such a hell-raiser and giving some of my teachers a hard time. The most difficult thing for me is not losing my cool. I try to keep my composure, but I find myself yelling and having to stop class because the kids will no settle down. My throat hurts at the end of the day because shouting, yelling, and talking so much. The English classes with the immigrant women on the weekends are swell as well. There is more structure and organization now. I think I kind of know what I am doing with them now. It only took a little over 3 months, but I am finally getting a hold of my service work. Teaching English to the women is different from teaching Kids English. I think it is because the women are choosing to learn the language while the kids are obligated. When there is freedom, people are willing to learn.
Last night, my community had our first session of spiritual direction and it was amazing. It was relaxed and in an informal setting. There was no pressure in having to share and it felt good to talk about some of the obstacles and challenges I have been faced with with a third party. It felt good to share and not feel like I was being judged. It felt good to share and not worry if someone's feelings were going to be hurt by the things I shared. It was good share how the past six months have been going so far (for me, at least). I can't believe I have been here for almost six months. The 8th of June will be six months. Wow! The time is just flying by and it is crazy to think that I am a quarter of the way done with my time here. It is crazy to think too that the new volunteers who are coming December will be attending BIG-O in a little over a month. The time is going by so quickly. Some days go by so quickly that I do not realize how fast they go until the day is over.
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