Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes. How do you measure- measure a year?

It was a year ago that I was applying to JVC and in a month, I will be taking off for Santiago, Chile. Time has flown by and it felt like it was just yesterday I was running and screaming all over campus that I was going to Chile. I am super excited and at the same time, it feels so surreal. It hasn't really hit me yet that I will be gone for two years. I went away to college (over 900 miles away) for four years, but that was different. I came home for Winter Break and the summer. I was able to communicate daily with family and friends back home and I was in a place where English was spoken everywhere. As much as I say that Alabama was a culture shock to me, Santiago will be an even bigger one.

I will be over 5300 miles from home, living with only two other Americans, still do not know where I will be living (currently my living situation is still in question), and speaking a language that I grew up with, but did not have to speak it for my livelihood. People who me know that I understand Spanish and that I can read it and write it almost without a problem, but speaking it, well, it is another issue. Growing up, my father spoke to me in Spanish, but I would respond in English. Now, I have the habit of wanting to respond in English whenever someone is speaking to me in Spanish. 

A year ago, my worries and concerns were different. I was juggling school, family, work, friends, service for my scholarship, and a new relationship.On top of that, I was in the process of applying to JVC.  I was trying to figure out how divide my time wisely in order to have time for everything that was on my plate, but also have time for myself. Even when I was doing things that were considered "extra-curricular," I was still working on something school-related. For example, when I had gone to the Ignatian Teach-In last November, I was working on Liberation Theology and Senior Seminar during the lectures and working on my Philosophy of Art paper during the night until the wee hours of the morning. It was a difficult time for me, but a learning experience.

This year, I also have a lot on my plate, but different issues. I am currently dealing with my loan providers and trying to get them to defer my payments (I actually have to start my payements on one of them today because they are still not convince that JVC is a good enough reason to defer).  I am juggling two part-time jobs. I am working part-time for my mom and my other job is babysitting for a couple in a town forty-five minutes west of Chicago. If that isn't enough, I am currently splitting my time between my house and my cousin's. I have become a second caretaker to her girls. It was a job that was given to me sunddenly, and unfortunately it was unexpected. Last month, my family experienced a great loss. My cousin's husband, suffered a massive heart attack while working and died. He was only thirty-seven. He left behind my cousin (who is only thirty-three) and three little girls (ages 7, 3, and 1). Slowly, we are all coming to terms with his death. Life is something so great and mysterious all at the same time, and death just happens to be a part of it.

So much can happen/change in a year and it has. I am a different person this year than I was last year. I am more aware of the world around me and the people in my life. As JVC tells us, I am trying to be present to the people who need me most while I am still home preparing for my jounrey. I have learned to love better and to be more compassionate. I have allowed myself to be vulnerable and experience great loss. I have learned to be uncomfortable and let down my guard. I have learned to take on new challenges even though it may be overwhleming and stressful. I have learned some things are not going to be easy and will be complicated. This is may sound a little disjointed, but that is how my mind works. We will see in a year from now how much I have changed, but that is in the future. Right now, I am just trying to be present for the people here at home and trying to convince my loan that I will be poor.