Was it Love or Fear of the Cold that led Us through the Night?

I've realized that I should probably proof-read my blogposts and make sure they make sense before I post them... the emphasis here is on "should," but I probably will not. Thank you all for excepting as I am. The weather is finally changing and it is freezing. Well, freezing at least in my office and every other building in Santiago because the Chileans do not believe in insulation. It is weird to know we were transitioning into Winter and it is going to be June. I never thought I would have to wear a scarf, coat, hat, and long-johns at the ending of May. Usually, I am complaining about the heat and humidity in Chicago or how I am fortunate that I have never spent the summer in the Deep South. I am at my school and it is incredibly difficult to concentrate because it is so cold. Fortunately, today is Tuesday which means there is class until l:00pm, but unfortunately it means there are meetings after 2:30pm until 5:30pm.

I would personally thank Meghan Tobin for introducing Mumford & Sons into my life in back in September. "Sigh No More" has become Album of the Month. Not really a light-hearted album, but I think it is the perfect album for the changing seasons. Why is that certain artists like Mumford & Sons seem more appropriate to listen to during a certain season? For example: Bon Iver and Fleet Foxes are ideal for the cold weather. Maybe it is the acoustic guitars and their hauntingly vocals. Who knows, but long story short, I am in love with Mumford & Sons. Thank you once again Meghan Tobin! I send peace and love to you and Heather in Managua.

Work has been good. I am participating more in the classes and taking more of an active teaching role in the English classes. I have found out what my kryptonite is: 4th grade. Those kids are terrible and when I say "terrible" it is an understatement. Give me high schoolers any day of the week, just not middle-school. Maybe this is my penance for being such a hell-raiser and giving some of my teachers a hard time. The most difficult thing for me is not losing my cool. I try to keep my composure, but I find myself yelling and having to stop class because the kids will no settle down. My throat hurts at the end of the day because shouting, yelling, and talking so much. The English classes with the immigrant women on the weekends are swell as well. There is more structure and organization now. I think I kind of know what I am doing with them now. It only took a little over 3 months, but I am finally getting a hold of my service work. Teaching English to the women is different from teaching Kids English. I think it is because the women are choosing to learn the language while the kids are obligated. When there is freedom, people are willing to learn.

Last night, my community had our first session of spiritual direction and it was amazing. It was relaxed and in an informal setting. There was no pressure in having to share and it felt good to talk about some of the obstacles and challenges I have been faced with with a third party. It felt good to share and not feel like I was being judged. It felt good to share and not worry if someone's feelings were going to be hurt by the things I shared. It was good share how the past six months have been going so far (for me, at least). I can't believe I have been here for almost six months. The 8th of June will be six months. Wow! The time is just flying by and it is crazy to think that I am a quarter of the way done with my time here. It is crazy to think too that the new volunteers who are coming December will be attending BIG-O in a little over a month. The time is going by so quickly. Some days go by so quickly that I do not realize how fast they go until the day is over.

R-E-S-P-E-C-T Find out what it means to Me

It's been a long while since my last blog post. Let's see what has happened since the last time I posted: I went to Lollapalooza, the US dollar is incredibly weak against the Chilean peso, a tornado ripped through Northern Alabama, Prince William and Kate Middleton were married, civil disobedience still going on in the Middle East, Blackhawks lost, Bulls are doing well, Gas prices are insane right now in the United States, Obama released his Birth Certificate, Donald Trump is running for President as a Republican, Osama bin Laden has found and killed sending Obama's approval ratings sky high. That is what has been going on since the last time I written the world. Also, My community recently learned the names of the new volunteers that will be joining our community is December (Snaps)!

Work-wise, I have been working with the immigrants off and on since March (I have more volunteers from the States... yay!) and things at my school are kind of crazy right now. Both good and bad. I went on my first school retreat with 1˚ Medio and it went well. When we were at retreat, a majority of 2˚ Medio skipped school, and currently 3˚ Medio is in trouble because something that happened with one of the kids (which involved his book-bag being stolen and later being thrown on top of the roof of the school).

Lately, I have become frustrated with some of my work. Some of the work that I have been doing feels like "dirty work" or work that no one else wants to do. I get it, but I don't want that to be my only work and that I don't want that to be routine. Also, Chileans like to "assume" things. Don't assume, because then you make an ass out of you and me (really, you and yourself). But sometimes, I feel like decisions are made without my knowledge and then people assume that I know what is going on. I don't know what is going on and I am only one person. I cannot do the work of an entire office.

 Another thing that has been going on at work is my relationship with one of the teachers. Let's just say that there is no relationship. I have gone out of my way to avoid this person. I don't acknowledge them. Don't even say "hello," "good-bye," and I don't even ask how they are doing. This person likes to talk behind my back. They makes fun of me for being an American. They talk about the way I ate, the way I speak, the way I sniffle (Recently, I was sick with cold) and they all these things behind my back. They think I don't hear it, but I do. It's ridiculous. This person is old enough to be either my parent or grandparent (and I am going with the latter... my parents are kind of young).

Sometimes, I want to go up to this person and say "WTF?!" but it would only add fuel to the fire. This person is a respected teacher, but I am going to start asking questions to see if this is their personality or if they are just targeting me, because if it is just me, excuse my language here, but I take shit from no one.
I know I am not Chilean (I never said I was and I don't try to be), I know my Spanish is kind of rough (I never said I spoke it perfectly), but I came to this country to work. I don't have to be liked, but I do demand respect. Sigh. I feel better now after ranting. Other than that person, I love the people I work with. I look forward going to work. I love the kids I interact with on a daily basis. Looking at this experience, I am thinking about going into the education field. I think I could probably make as a high school teacher. Elementary and Middle School, not so much, but high school, yes.

Community is good and I am enjoying my time with Catherine and Jake. We do have our differences, but I love them. It is great to come back to my community after a long day of work. I love being American. I love knowing that I am not alone out here. I love getting to share this experience with them and being on this journey with them. I am excited for the new JVs. Although, I am experiencing this rough patch with a colleague and some of my work, I wouldn't change this experience, these next two years for anything else. I trust in God and know with them, I will be okay.

LIVE THE FOURTH!

Delivering Signs and Dusting from Their Eyes

So, it has been forever and a day since I last posted. Well, okay, not forever and a day, but you know it has been awhile. Life can just get so crazy and hectic sometimes and sometimes there isn't much to write about. Since the last time I posted, we moved from the house Jake, Cati, and I were staying in (Casa Pudahuel) and moved into the new JV House (located in Estacion Central). It still is in its beginning stages, but it definitely looks livable now (Jake and Cati washed their bedroom floors by hand; same with the bathrooms and I have swept like I have never swept before). Santiago is quite a dusty city and no matter how much you think you may have cleaned your house, there is still more work to done. We washed and painted walls and had to ordered gas tanks (gas lines installed in homes is a luxury). Also, we now stand in solidarity with the other international communities (like we weren't in solidarity with them already) in the sense that we are now an internet-free house! I will now be mooching wifi from local cafes and from work (Work will be an entirely different paragraph in this very post). 

After living in the house for a couple of days (this was at the beginning of the month), we went on holiday to the South of Chile. It was a 10-day adventure and every moment of it was an experience. Let's start off with the bus trip down. The first city on our trip was Valdavia. Valdavia is about 12 hours south of Chile. Those who know me well know that I get motion sickness. I bought 7.000 chilean pesos worth of medication to put me off of my misery on the way down. It did its job (it put me out for 6-8 hours) and when I awoke, we were an hour outside of Valdavia. We arrived at the bis terminal, had some tea and coffee, and then got a micro to go to our hostel. When we arrived at our hostel, we told the workers there that we had made reservations online. They did not have our reservations. After a brief squabble with them, they gave us our room. It was decent and quite cozy. Our first night there, we met a ex-patriate from Great Britain who was now living in Spain. She was doing a tour of Chile before returning to Europe. 

That night, I wanted to shower. The last time I had showered was two and a half days before arriving in Valdavia. When preparing to shower, I was greeted to a bathroom with no curtains or blinds and with a floor that had more water on it than the bathtub had in it. I took a quick shower, dressed, and then went to bed. When I woke up the next morning, I wasn't feeling too hot. I got dress and went down to the basement to use the computer. I was greeted by two Chileans and an Argentine. I could not, for the life of me, understand the Chileans (Chilean Spanish is one of the most difficult to understand), but the Argentine was definitely easier understand. The men had been drinking homemade hard cider while talking with the Argentine. One of the Chileans then turned his attention to me and offered me a drink. I figured "Why not? When in Rome."The drink had an interesting aroma with a hint of fermented fruit. It was more bitter than it was sweet. All in all, it was definitely better than having to drink PBR or High Life. 

As the day went on, my community mates and I traveled outside Valdivia to visit Kunstmann brewery, a Valdavian staple, and a must-do recommended by our ICC. When we arrived, we learned the brewery had been turned into a museum, but the restaurant portion still was in order order. Jake and I ordered two massive beer steins while Cati had a Coca Light (We were a little disappointed in her, but who are we to judge?) and top our massive meals that followed, we shared kutchen. It was fun and afterwards, we headed back to the hostel. When we returned to our room, the Brit ex-patriate was gone and now in her place was the Argentine and two Swiss backpackers. While I continued to talk with the Argentine, Jake and Cati introduced themselves to the Swiss. I hung out with the Argentine for most of the night and learned about each other's backgrounds. She told me the reason why she doesn't get close to farm animals (the reason being because you might eat them one day). There was also a pow-wow outside. We met up with one of the Chileans again and found out that he actually works at the hostel. He handed us some more of his homemade brew (this wine and fruit). After awhile, both the Argentine and I were tired  so we decided to go to bed. 

When I awoke the next morning, I was feeling worse than I did the day before. I could no longer deny that I had a cold. If that wasn't bad enough, that day, the very same day, I was going a 5-hour boat tour with Cati and Jake. A cold + motion sickness = misery. I did my best to put on a brave face, but it wasn't enough. I was feeling nauseous because of the rockiness of the water and I felt feverish. How I regretted the boat trip only two hours in (Upside: the meal I had on the trip was one of the most delicious I have had while in Chile). After the boat tour, we headed back to the hostel and shared a meal with the Swiss and one o f the hostel workers (a German... I feel so worldly). The next morning, we were on a 3-hour bus ride down south to Puerto Montt. We waited there for a friend and while we waited, we tried to look for a place that had internet). We couldn't find one and at this point I just wanted to rest. I didn't care where, but as long as I could sit down and not be bothered. 

It was a hole-in-the-wall type of place. Their menu was limited and it seemed like the kind of place that you would expect to see at the beginning of a horror film that would foreshadow what it is to come. As Cati and Jake were discussing what would be our next move, I just zoned out. Morale was definitely at its lowest point. They asked me what I felt like doing and I told them “I could give two [expletives] about what we do. I’m just miserable right now.” I guess I kind of freaked them out, but long story short. I think after a few days of rest and more medication, I was feeling better. Once we returned to Santiago, things definitely felt a whole lot better. I love nature and all, but not when I am sick. I was glad to return to the smog, head, and noise that is Santiago.

So, I began writing this post almost two weeks ago (today is the 11th of March) and I began work at my school. I love it. The teachers and staff are amazing and I am looking forward to the year. I have been given so much work and it seems overwhelming (which it is), but I am excited. In addition to putting liturgies together and being in charge of the catechism classes, I have been also put in charge of teaching kids Church doctrine and during faculty meetings, teaching the adults more about Ignatian Spirituality and Jesuit philosophy. I am probably going to go on a power trip because here the kids do not call their teachers “maestro” but they call them “profesor.” I don’t need my Master’s here to be considered a professor. Currently, I am sitting in my office making sure I have the things I need for my first “encuentro” with the catechists. I figured going to the Vatican’s website would make life easier rather than just googling “confirmation.” 

Also, the country of Chile is on tsunami watch. When I walked into the faculty lounge this morning, the news was on. The breaking news story of the day was that there was an earthquake in Japan followed by a tsunami. Today happens to be the one-year anniversary of Piñera’s inauguration which was rocked by a 7.2 aftershock (Chile was devastated by an 8.8 earthquake on the 27th of February of 2010). Chileans have very fond memories of that and they feel for the people in Japan. We all feel for the people in Japan and they are in our thoughts and prayers. Not only are the people of Japan in our prayers, but so are the JVs who are in Micronesia right now (they too are under a tsunami warning). 

Well, I must return to my work. I just wanted to get this post out there before another month passes me by. Peace and love to everyone out there and please keep those who were affected by the earthquake in your thoughts and prayers.

"I got my hands up, They're playin' my song I know I'm gonna be OK"

It's been awhile since I have last posted. The truth is, I did not have much to write about (I felt like what I was writing was going to be redundant; community is great, life is great, Chile is great, etc.) anything I would have written would have been superficial with no real significance. I was going to post when it was my one-month anniversary being in Chile, but that was all I really had to say. It's definitely been an exciting month; one of change and growth. It has not been an easy month and it has not been easy having to sacrifice the things I never really thought about such as my independence, my way of life, and the material things I, as an US Citizen, have grown accustomed to. It has definitely been a challenge trying to stay present to community mates here and to the Chilean people while trying to maintain contact with my family during a time of loss. At the beginning of this month, my family suffered another loss. My grandmother, whose health had been deteriorating, passed away. She was my best friend and someone who definitely drove me to the point of insanity. I made sure to make my peace with her before leaving and during the Christmas holiday, I made sure to talk to her. As much as I would like to be with my family during this time, I don't feel the need to be home. I think my family would like for me to be home, but for what? I keep them in my thoughts and prayers. I know this is a difficult time for my family, but my grandmother is no longer in pain and there are more hospital/nursing home stays. No more phone calls of urgency in the middle of the night and no more dialysis. She is now resting in peace and we were blessed to have her as long as we did.

Onto more placement news...

I have learned more about the place where I will be working at next year and where I will be volunteering. It is a new volunteer site (okay, newer than the other sites). I will be volunteering with Servicios Jesuitas Migrantes (SJM), a Jesuit organization that works with the immigrants from Peru, Bolivia, and Haiti (there are immigrants from a number of other countries, but those three are the ones that are greatly represented). I will be volunteering at least two hours every Sunday at Santuario Alberto Hurtado. I will be teaching English to a group of women. I am definitely excited, but a little nervous. The person who created the class told me it will be difficult at first, but it will become easier once I find my own groove. I hope to be a decent teacher and I hope that my Chicago accent does not have a devastating effect on them.

In other news... JVC Santiago finally has a house! The house hunt ended the 14th of January. After many phone calls, walking door-to-door only to be turned away and told that there were no houses available, one finally appeared. My community mate Cati had been house hunting for over three months with no luck and once Jake and I arrived in country, we began to help as well. Over a month and nothing. We were losing hope and optimism. With a last ditch effort, Jake went online and found a listing posted on a website (similar to Craigslist). It said that it house was available as a weekly rental. There was a number and we called it. We are expecting disappointment and waiting to hear, "The house? It's already been rented," but instead we heard, "Yes, the house is still available." The following day we went to go see it and we fell in love (that' the brief version of it... we fell in love, we discussed it as community/discerned/ weighed out our options, called the office in DC/skyped and called our ICC).
We returned to the house the day after and told the owner we were definitely interested in renting (we showed up as he was showing the house to potential buyers... awkward, I know). In the end, he liked us and decided to rent the house to us. Our next move: getting appliances, furniture, mattresses, and linen. This is an incredible new chapter not only for JVC Santiago, but also for me. I look forward the new house, the new job, the new challenges (both good and bad), and the memories to be created with my community. I'll try my best to keep you all updated on what is going on down here. I will leave you all with this: it is so hot!

So, this is Christmas. I hope you have fun. The near & the dear ones. The old & the young.

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas... all I can say is that I actually do miss the 24-hour Christmas radio station. It's been almost two weeks since I embarked on my Chilean journey and I feel so blessed. God has definitely given me the best gifts I could have ever wanted (this is in addition to the gift of Baby Jesus). Since I will not be celebrating Christmas this year with my biological family, I will be celebrating it with both my host family and JV community. Both have been so welcoming and warm. My host family (really, my Chilean family) has been incredible. There is not one word that is sufficient enough to describe them. I was stranger in a foreign place and they welcomed me with open arms into their home. They have cared for me and have given me so much love. I am not a visiter and I am no longer a stranger. I am a member of the family. They have given me my space, but at the same time, they bring me along to all family functions and even invite me to take part in some of their activities (yoga, jumping rope... I need to do this because they know that my vice is bread). I look forward to spending Christmas with them. As a gift to them (and I know it is not enough), I will be making them an American breakfast. I am going to make French toast and as a substitute for syrup, I will use honey (got to work with what I got) and powdered sugar. Simple, but nonetheless, it is the thought. I love them so much.

Also, I give thanks to God for the gift of community. This has been such a difficult year for many people and my family is no exception. Although we had some highs, there were also many lows. My grandmother’s health has declined drastically within the year, the death of a teacher and a family member, and my mother’s surgery. They have been great obstacles, but they can be taken on and overcome. Both my community mates have been there to hear me and have lend a shoulder to cry on. The did not have to say a word, but only listen. I love the both of them so dearly and I am fortunate and blessed to be a member of the JVC community. This year may have not been the greatest, but it definitely did have its great moments. I thank God for the gifts He has blessed me with. I thank him for my friends, communities, and my family. I hope you all have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. I hope you are spending it with people who love you dearly and want nothing but the best for you. 

Also, I hope that Santa Claus brings everything that you asked for. Peace and love. 

"For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who believes in him might not perish but might have eternal life.For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world might be saved through him. Whoever believes in him will not be condemned, but whoever does not believe has already been condemned, because he has not believed in the name of the only Son of God. And this is the verdict, that the light came into the world, but people preferred darkness to light, because their works were evil. For everyone who does wicked things hates the light and does not come toward the light, so that his works might not be exposed. But whoever lives the truth comes to the light, so that his works may be clearly seen as done in God." 

Jn 3:16-21

And I Think to Myself what a Wonderful World.

Hola desde Santiago!!! I am officially an ex-patriate and I am so excited to finally be in country. It's only been two days and I am already in love with it. My community mates are AMAZING and I am currently doing a home stay. We do not have a house yet, but we are on a mission to find one. The family I am staying with is AMAZING. They are a young couple and have only one child. She is in the fourth grade and reminds me so much of my younger sister. I feel like I am home.

The flight here was great and I had no troubles entering the country. It was weird having out of Atlanta. It felt like I was supposed to be flying to Mobile (the flight to Mobile actually left an hour before the flight to Santiago did) and I remembered showing my community mate on the screen in the plane where I had gone to school (I told him it was near New Orleans). He upgraded our seats to an aisle (He's super tall, but I was not complaining because that also meant extra leg room for me). I was worried and nervous that things were not going to be great, but all that went to away as soon as we took off. The flight here was only nine hours (the distance from Nashville to Chicago or Chicago to Memphis...driving) and the the in-flight movie  was Eat, Pray, Love (perfect, right?). I loved the part where Julia Roberts' character explains the definition "Ruined." Ruined does not always mean that something has been destroyed, but it also mean a change or transition. I am definitely "Ruined for Life."

Ruined for Life is a JV motto. What is means is that once we have entered this program, we can no longer look at the world with the perspective/perception we once had of it. It has changed for the better because we have become more aware of the world around us and of the world and communities we a part of it.

Yesterday, I had gone with my host family to the supermarket. The supermarket I went to is the Chilean equivalent of Wal-Mart. I was so overwhelmed and was uncomfortable. I had thought once leaving America, I would leave behind a world of consumerism and corporations, but then again, I should have remembered that the new Chilean president was a business man and is actually a big supporter of the latter. I still processing that experience.

Onto happier thoughts. I had gone to the center of the city today and went to the Plaza de Armas, the National Cathedral and Restaurant J. Cruz. I am still trying to adjust to having lunch at 2, once, and dinner at 9. I am excited for everything and anything. My community is AMAZING and I could have not asked for anything else. My host family is incredible and so hospitable and Santiago is now where my heart is. I am only looking up and not down and staying optimistic. I know it will be difficult and there will be bumps along the road, but I would not trade this for anything else.

I can only hope to stay in love forever.
CHI! CHI! CHI! LE! LE! LE!

Therefore the Grace of God go I

This is doubling as my late departure reflection and my blog post of the week (sorry to all the late departures out there. It's taken me forever to get something out there to you guys, but better late than never).


I will be leaving to Chile in just a few hours and I cannot believe how fast the time has gone by. I have been running around and making sure that I have everything I need. I am so excited to finally reunite with my community mate, Jake and I am excited to finally meet my community mate who is already in Santiago. It is bittersweet. Even though I am excited to leaving, I am saddened by the fact that I am not leaving during a good time. Currently, my grandmother is sick and will be undergoing surgery while I am traveling and we are still in grieving mode due to our lost in October. Sometimes I question if it is still meant for me to go to Chile, but everything happens for a reason. If I had left early, I would have not been present for my family. I am trying to be present to the person in front of me. Life is crazy and we are often presented with many obstacles, but it is with God that we are able to overcome such challenges and difficulties. But, enough with the sadness. It is a time of jubulation because I am no longer an unemployed college grad who is living with their parents. I think my parents are happy to finally get me out of their house (I am quite happy as well).


Also, I am quite nervous. I am feeling the same emotions that I felt when I first arrived at Spring Hill. After my dad and grandfather helped move me in, they left. On the outside I was fine, but on the inside I was freaking out, "What the [insert expletive] did I get myself into?" I was in a new place all by myself and knew no one. Although my roommate was nice, we did not exactly click. The first week was the hardest because everything was so new, so different. It was in that first week as well where I made my two best friends and did not look back. I did not regret the decision that I made in going to Spring Hill. I know I am not going to regret this because this is a once in a lifetime opportunity and I know there will be many lows, but also many many more highs. I am excited to be living with two incredible people who be there when I need someone to talk to and will not leave me standing alone. I feel blessed being a JV because I have met so many incredible people.


I am getting ready to head off. Just two more hours and then I will be at O'Hare. This time tomorrow, I will be in Santiago with my community mates. I am ready to take on Chile and everything it has in store for me. For the Grace of God Go I.